


I burn for you

by ItsAWonderfulLife



Category: Bridgerton (TV), Merlin (TV)
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Bridgerton AU, Complete idiots I'm not even joking they think the other is sad they got married, Happy Ending, M/M, Marriage Proposal, Married Couple, Oh wait that's all of it, Sharing a bed I guess but I don't be writing that smut sorry, That scene in Bridgerton where they're both being idiots, Warning: they do be hating themselves until they've resolved stuff so prepare for angst, idiots to lovers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-31
Updated: 2020-12-31
Packaged: 2021-03-11 04:53:36
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,008
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28459317
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ItsAWonderfulLife/pseuds/ItsAWonderfulLife
Summary: Merlin doesn't want to marry Arthur. Arthur doesn't want to marry Merlin.Except they do want to, they already have, and they're both feeling guilty about it and being idiots.
Relationships: Merlin/Arthur Pendragon (Merlin), Merlin/Gwaine (referenced)
Comments: 15
Kudos: 100





	I burn for you

**Author's Note:**

> To state the obvious: I don't own BBC's Merlin, or Netflix/Julia Quinn's Bridgerton series. I wish I did. I'd be rich. It would be great.
> 
> Warnings: a bit of sad boi hours before they sort themselves out, self-loathing is The VibeTM for a bit, and also there's one sword incident which doesn't hurt anyone right at the start. Happy ending and idiocy etc.

_Dawn, the day following the Yuletide Ball, some time in the Middle Ages..._

"Merlin!"

"Are you alright?"

"Answer me, oh gods!" 

The frantic voices of both Arthur and Gwaine could be heard all the way across the fields surrounding the lower lands of Camelot. That is, had there been anyone around to hear them, they could have been heard. As such, it was dawn, and a most important duel had just been interrupted by Merlin, manservant to the King of Camelot himself, Arthur Pendragon, when he rode straight into the middle of it, just as Gwaine's grip on his sword failed, and it hit Merlin’s horse, throwing him from it most unceremoniously. 

"I'm alright, no thanks to you _idiots_ ," a muffled voice huffed, as Merlin clawed his way out from under the heap of cloak, and stood back up. He held himself as proudly as he could, for a man who had just received the news that the love of his life would rather die than face the prospect of marrying him. Pointedly ignoring the stare of the aforementioned love of his life, he righted his nightclothes, and turned towards Gwaine. "I need a moment alone with the king."

"But-"

"I need a moment alone with the king," he said again, and wandered into the woods. As he passed Percival, who was acting as Gwaine's second, he nodded minutely. He knew that Percival didn't want to be part of this. Nor did Leon, but he was purposefully not looking in his general direction, because he was stood behind Arthur.

When they were finally alone, Merlin turned to Arthur, choosing a tree behind his shoulder to admire, refusing adamantly to look into those eyes. That blue had already made a fool of him, and ruined his virtue forever. 

"Arthur- sire, I'm afraid things have changed. We were seen. George, one of the male servants, saw what happened in the garden. He will tell everyone. I need you to marry me. Please."

"Merlin," Arthur began softly, and Merlin couldn't help but look up at his voice, which sounded just as broken and wretched as he himself felt, "I can't."

"Why? Do you truly hold me in such low regard that you would wish this upon me for all eternity? I'll be shunned. I'll be ruined. I'll have to go back to Ealdor!" Merlin noted with a hint of grim satisfaction that at least the mention of his potential departure provoked a flinch. He then felt shame instantly crawl up his spine. None of this was Arthur's fault. Merlin had thrown himself back into his arms. 

"No," Arthur croaked now, his face twisted in anguish, "it is because I hold you in such high regard that I cannot do this to you. Living as a Royal Consort would make it even harder for you to hide your magic, and you want a life, you want children, you should be with a kind woman who can fulfil this dream with you."

"You-" Merlin reeled. The idiot. He thought Merlin could ever want someone else? Arthur was his world. His everything. 

There was a rustling behind them, and quick footsteps approached. Gwaine cleared his throat. "If you don't mind, I'd like this to be done with before morning, so I might have the chance to flee should I murder the king."

Merlin was speechless, watching Arthur brace himself for death, shrugging as he made to head back to the open field with Gwaine.

"No need. The king and I are to marry."

Arthur's eyes flew to his. He was horrified. It was that image which burned itself into Merlin's mind for the rest of the day.

__________________________________________________

_Five days after the Yuletide Ball, still some time in the Middle Ages, in one bedroom of an inn quite far from Camelot..._

Arthur was beside himself. This was possibly the worst night of his life. It was also his wedding night, but that was mostly the problem.

Merlin was in the room on the other side of the corridor, no doubt crying himself to sleep at the future Arthur's dishonour had painted for him. He had always been in love with Merlin, but he could find no joy in the idea of being married to him, because he knew Merlin had only agreed to this fate to protect him from Gwaine's sword.

He was willing to let Gwaine finish it. He deserved it. For giving into his impulses and his desires and all but _attacking_ Merlin in the gardens, for assuming nobody would see, for sealing Merlin's fate with his own selfishness, he deserved it.

Now he would have to look at the man he loved every day, and know that he despised him for their marriage. Furthermore, Merlin was in danger. He would now be in mortal danger every day for the imminent future, hiding his magic until Arthur could convince the council, organise the paperwork, convince the people and change the laws. All of which could take months, if not _years._

When Gwaine had found them in such a... compromising position, and spat his fury at Arthur with that one damning demand, Arthur knew he could never do that to Merlin. 

_"You will marry him."_ As if he could do that to the man he loved. Except, when he refused, instead of relief, bitter disappointment and hurt had raced across Merlin's face, always so open for the world to see. And Arthur had no idea how to interpret that, but he knew that he had hurt Merlin even more, and so he agreed when Gwaine threw down the glove at his feet, demanding their fight to the death. 

But Merlin had ridden into the middle of the fight, nearly getting himself killed in the process, and sacrificed the rest of his life to be shackled to Arthur's side. 

Frustrated, heartbroken, and wanting nothing more than to go to Merlin and comfort him, he began to pace.

__________________________________________________

_Five days after the Yuletide Ball, still in the Middle Ages at some vague point around 500AD, in the room across the corridor..._

Merlin was pacing. He was beside himself. He had trapped Arthur into a lifetime of misery just to selfishly protect his own reputation and virtue. 

Arthur was golden, he was the embodiment of the sun, he was beloved by everyone, and it was not his fault that Merlin had gone and fallen in love with the king he was meant to serve. He had no duty to protect him from his own foolishness, and had refused marriage to Merlin even when his own life was at stake.

Except Merlin had ruined that too, and couldn't even let him die honourably. Instead, he interfered, and damned Arthur with his declaration that they _would_ marry, and that Gwaine could take his testosterone and his pride back to his chambers or suffer the consequences of Merlin's wrath. 

And now it was their wedding night, and only in his wildest dreams could he have ever imagined he would be married to the one he loved, but he could not make himself be happy about it, as he was sure Arthur was alone and depressed in the room across the hall, desperately wishing to be free from this sham of a marriage. 

He could never bring himself to regret that kiss, however. It was greater than any kiss he'd ever shared, including his brief romance with Gwaine.

He was in love, and had been for the longest time. That made all of this so much more painful, because he knew that every time he looked at Arthur now, all he would see for the rest of his life would be the heartache and suffering that he had caused.

He longed to go to Arthur, to talk things through, to make things right. 

Instead, he continued to pace, running exasperated fingers through his already nest-like hair. 

__________________________________________________

_Five days after- oh whatever. Same inn. Same idiots._

Arthur stopped pacing abruptly, decided, and marched to the door.

__________________________________________________

Merlin stopped pacing, shook his head, and reached for the door, flinging it open.

"My lord!"

"Merlin!" Arthur nearly fell through the door, but managed to hold himself steady just in time. He blushed bright red, and cleared his throat, gaze falling to the floor. "We should go for dinner. The food here is perfectly reasonable. No rats in sight."

Groaning, Merlin turned away, stomping back into the room with his head in his hands. He heard the door shut behind him as Arthur shuffled across the room after him.

"Merlin? What's wrong? Are you not hungry?"

"Arthur! I don't care to eat right now! Or ever again! All I've wanted since that ridiculous duel was to talk to you, to understand, to just- I know you don't want this. I know you hate me for this. I know you can't look at me right now-"

"You're wrong." Arthur's gaze had snapped back to him half way through his diatribe of self-loathing, and it burned into him now, angry and hot. "You could not be more mistaken."

"Arthur, I've trapped you in this marriage."

"I trapped you!" Arthur cried, throwing his arms out widely in gesticulation. "I trapped you, Merlin. Not the other way round. I have been in agony these past few days, knowing that I have caused you such misery."

Merlin could barely breathe. "But... you haven't said anything to me."

Arthur shrugged, frowning at the wall beside Merlin. "I didn't want to say the wrong thing."

"You've avoided me entirely!" Merlin sobbed, disobedient water forming now in his eyes, even as he blinked it away.

"I wanted to allow you your liberty while you still had it! You wanted to marry for love, you've told me of this before. And this is-"

"Exactly the opposite?" 

It stung more than he thought it would, having confirmation of Arthur's lack of feelings for him. He refused to cry in front of his king though, so he turned away, hunting for a new tunic in his bag. 

"I will join you in a moment for dinner."

"Merlin I- I can't stop thinking about you. You fill my thoughts from the second you wake me each morning, with your godawful catchphrases, to the second I fall asleep. There is never a moment I don't think of you."

He whirled back around. "What? What do you mean?"

Anger twisted on Arthur's beautiful face, and he turned as if to leave. "I can't make it clearer, Merlin."

"Arthur," Merlin grabbed his arm, pulling him closer, "you look flushed. What is it?"

"It is when someone burns, Merlin!" Arthur exclaimed, yanking his arm free and allowing his own tears to escape as he turned to face Merlin once more. "It is when someone _burns_ for someone who does not feel the same." With that, he seemed to deflate, and his gaze fell once more to the floor as he sighed.

Merlin ignored the stream of consciousness playing through his mind, and the loud warning bells of anxiety informing him that this was a bad idea, and stepped forward, delicately lifting Arthur's chin until their eyes met once more.

"You," he whispered softly, "are an idiot. I have sacrificed nothing. I want nobody else."

Arthur swallowed, shaking his head gently and trying to pull away from Merlin's hold. "You don't need to-"

"Shut up. I'm in love with you. _I_ burn for _you._ "

"You love me?" Arthur breathed, a small but sincere smile forming on his face. 

Wiping at Arthur's tears with the sleeve of his tunic, Merlin nodded. "Yes. You're such an idiot."

"Merlin. You must know I love you too. Tell me you know that."

Closing his eyes, Merlin tried desperately to hold in the overwhelming surge of emotion soaring through his heart. He opened his eyes long enough to drag Arthur into a spellbindingly magical kiss, and dragged him towards the bed. 

__________________________________________________

_Some random inn in Albion, approx 500AD..._

Two idiots realised they were in love. Conveniently, they were already married. 

FIN

__________________________________________________


End file.
